Bear fruit where you are planted

Matthew 21:17: Early in the morning, as he was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, "May you never bear fruit again!"

The bible has a lot to say about bearing fruit. This passage from Matthew, however, has always really stuck with me. I remember when I first became a Christian, thinking "wow, that was kind of overkill." I mean, did Jesus REALLY have to curse the fig tree because it hadn't grown fruit? Maybe it was just a late bloomer. I mean, Jesus is a sympathetic guy, I thought he would have compassion on the poor fig tree. So what if it didn't have fruit, maybe it was just an off day? Surely it should be given another chance?

As I grew more mature in my Christianity, however, the cursing of the fig tree started making a lot more sense to me. When I went through the women's Christian Restoration Home in Milwaukee, one of the things the pastors used to always preach on was bearing fruit. I was taught that if you have the light of God in you, it should affect the people around you. If you are living out your Christian life the way Christ directs us to in the bible, and are speaking the gospel to people and telling them about Jesus, people around you will start changing for the better, and they will start getting saved. Not because of anything we do, but because we are allowing God to use us to accomplish his will. It's his power that changes people, we are just the vessels. People begin to change because of the power of God in you. You begin to bear fruit in the way of people around you who begin to transform by the power of God, because they saw the God in you and your Christian walk. You have no option to NOT bear fruit if you are in Christ, because the power of the Holy Spirit is too strong for people to be exposed to it and not be affected.

                                      

For whatever reason, though, I've noticed that there has become a trend among Christians where they are choosing NOT to bear fruit until they get to the point in life where they feel they are ready for ministry. Bearing fruit is looked at more like a career choice than an every day activity. Sharing the gospel is looked at as something that you don't do in everyday, mundane life, but rather a job position. "When I move, when I understand more of the bible, when God places me among the particular people group that I want to minister to, when I'm ready, then I will bear fruit. Then I will share the gospel. Then I will share my testimony. When I am in a position that I feel comfortable, then I will tell people about God." This, my friends, is not what God wants. It's not about us or our timing or our comfort. A Christian should never say that they will begin ministry WHEN. Your ENTIRE life should be a ministry. RIGHT NOW. Everything that we do should be for God's glory. Someone who has been saved for one minute can have an affect on an unbeliever. I work with drug addicts who get saved and are telling everyone who will listen about how God saved them as soon as they leave. They don't wait until they have the bible memorized, or they have a ministry team, or until they are commissioned. They do it out of the overflow of their heart and the power of the Holy Spirit, just like the disciples. The church has no excuse. People should be able to see the light of God in you, and want to follow it. Don't hide it, don't repress it, and don't save it to be used later.

Matthew 5:15: “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

John 15:8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.

You see, when we put conditions on our evangelism, when we choose who, where, and when to minister, we stifle  the Holy Spirit. We put God in a box by saying we will only minister to who we have decided to. We miss out on all of the people that God has placed in front of us- the cashier at the grocery store, the drunken neighbor next store, the grumpy old man across the street, the lonely single mom at work- because they don't fit our "criteria." By saying that you are going to wait to start ministering until God has things set up the way you want them is working out of your own flesh instead of letting the power of the Holy Spirit work through you. Think of all of the souls that you are missing out on having an impact on because you're waiting for God to place you in your "mission." Your mission is right in front of you, right now! We live in such a lost, hurting world, and we should be telling the gospel to EVERONE we meet.

Another thing that I was taught in Milwaukee by my pastor, which has been proven time and time again, is that if someone isn't doing something where they are at right now, they are not going to do it in a different position later. Luke 16:10 says that He who is faithful in the little will also be faithful in much. If you are sharing the gospel right now in the little- to the gas station attendant, the grumpy old man across the street, the addict on the street corner- God can trust that you will continue to be trustworthy to do it in the much (ministries, missions, pastoring, ect.). If you are bearing fruit where you are at, you can be trusted to continue to bear fruit somewhere else. If you are not bearing fruit right now in the little, then you will not do it in the much either. To say that you will start ministering when you get to a different location, or around a certain group of people, while their are lost souls right in front of your face that you aren't filled with compassion to minister to, makes no biblical sense. If you aren't ministering where you are at, you're not going to minister in a different location either, because the spirit of God will not be stifled. Once God has touched your life, it's impossible to contain. There is no "waiting to share the gospel." You will want to tell everyone you meet. You will shout it to everyone who will listen, right where you are. Missions are very biblical and valuable, but if you look at the disciples in the bible, they preached Jesus everywhere they were. They didn't wait until they got somewhere else. We should be doing it continuously.p

As Christians, we do not have the luxury of deciding who is worthy of ministering to, and delaying sharing the gospel until it fits into our time table. People are dying right outside of the church doors, because they don't fit the criteria of people's ministries. Because they aren't in women's bible study, youth group, the worship team, or any other church ministries doesn't mean they're not worth ministering to. In fact, they probably need it more. But by being so focused on our "mission target" of people, we can overlook people that don't fit the mold. I can only imagine how much that breaks Jesus' heart. There are so many souls to be saved, and so few Christians that are willing to reach beyond their comfort zone to share the gospel with someone that doesn't fit into their ministry box. We should be sharing the gospel with everyone possible, whenever we can, because we are running out of time.

Which brings me back to the Fig tree. The reason that Jesus cursed the fig tree is because it wasn't bearing fruit. It was useless. Symbolically, it is the same as a spiritually dead Christian- one who is bearing no fruit. Jesus knew the fig tree was going to continue to be fruitless, because it wasn't bearing fruit where it was at. He could have moved it to a different country and replanted it in hopes of it bearing fruit. Or waited to replant it in a different season- when it was ready- and seen if it would bear fruit then. But he knew that would be, well, fruitless (ha!). It's the same way with Christians. If we are not bearing fruit where we are at, right now, then we are not going to bear fruit anywhere else later either. That's a lie that the devil tells us to keep us from proclaiming Jesus to those who need to hear. He says those aren't your people, someone else will tell them, this isn't your time to minister, someone else will tell them, you can start telling people about Jesus later. But it's not true. We should have fruit at all times, in all seasons, in all places. Maybe not in the same way, but the fruit should always be there. To not believe this is to be rendered useless in the kingdom of God, and forfeit touching all of the souls that God strategically places in front of us. Because as Christians, we are " a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9. There is no right place or right time to share the gospel. The time is right now, right where you're at. Bear fruit where you are planted, until God moves you somewhere else. Then bear fruit there. But don't wait. Never become fruitless, even for a season.

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My Hubby's Surprise 50th Birthday party!

My gorgeous Hubby at his surprise 50th birthday party!

 My husband Ben has thrown me two surprise parties this year. One was for my birthday, and the other one was less than a month later for my college graduation. I can say, without a doubt, that I was totally and completely surprised. My husband has never had a surprise party in his life. No one has EVER been able to pull it off for him. He notices everything and pays too much attention to details. It's hard to get things past him. I was determined to throw him a surprise party for his big MILESTONE birthday though, and I refused to accept defeat. Especially since he made a comment a few weeks ago that I couldn't pull of a surprise party. Anyone who knows me knows that I take comments like that as a challenge to prove people wrong ;)



Two of Ben's centerpieces. Filled with Hot Tamale candy and Hershey Kisses =) There were balloons tied onto them but the kids had hijacked by the time I had gotten around to taking pictures;)

 The biggest problem for me was figuring out WHEN to throw his party. Our schedules are so crazy that it is hard to schedule anything- let alone a surprise party. We had tentative plans to go camping with his brother the week I decided to plan the party, but I didn't know until the last minute if we were going or not. We had numerous crisis this week as well, and a lot of the plans we had to do thing as a couple got put on the backburner in order to help people. Things change so quickly in the type of ministry we are in that planning anything (and actually being able to go through with it) is quite a feat. So I had to come up with some way to plan him a surprise party that I knew I could get him to NO MATTER WHAT. Now, if there's one thing I know about my husband, it's that he makes a point to keep his commitments to ministry engagements. This Friday, three days before his actual birthday, there was a worship outreach concert being held in a local park, and they were specifically reaching out to drug addicts. My husband and I were scheduled as guests. And I knew I had the perfect spot for his party. I knew he would make a point of showing up, regardless of where the circumstances of the day brought us. We were going to throw his party DURING a ministry event, so I could be sure he'd show up!
                                                                                                              

                      

Arriving at the park. In the first picture, he is starting to realize what is going on. In the second picture, he's sure of it, as our friend carries his lit birthday cake towards him. In the third picture, he uses all of his lung power to blow out the fireball that is created when you have 50 candles lit on a cake simultaneously =)

I could have never pulled the whole thing off without my Co-Conspirators Jessica and Malissa from CROSSroads. We spend days having secret party planning meetings, going on shopping trips where they took everything home with them in their cars so Ben wouldn't see party supplies in the house, coordinating facebook event invites and ride schedules and menu items. Jessica even baked Ben a GORGEOUS German chocolate birthday cake with Pecans and homemade frosting- because there was no way I was going to be able to hide a sheet cake in the house!On the day of the party, they left and set everything up at the park, brought all of the food, and reserved the tables while Ben and I were getting ready to leave for the concert. And Ben never suspected a thing. Imagine that- a bunch of female drug addicts being able to sneak around , plot and hide things in order to have their purposes prevail. Talk about harnessing your powers for good now instead of evil!

                   

        

Ben's amazing German Chocolate birthday cake- and him cutting it with the Cake Lady herself ;)

 The look on my husband's face was worth every second of planning, of plotting, of running around. He was truly surprised, and I am so thankful that I could do something to make him so happy. He deserves it more than anyone I know. He is so self-sacrificial- always putting others before himself,
putting his needs last, and adjusting his schedule to meet everyone else's. He gives and gives of himself and expects nothing in return. He always makes sure that everyone else realizes how important, special, and valuable they are to God- and it's important that he always remembers that about himself as well. He has been such an enormous blessing in the lives of others, and the least we could do was make sure that he was blessed for his 50th birthday.

                                    

                 

Ben speaking with some guests and opening up his FAVORITE birthday gift (courtesy of yours truly)- the SECOND set of the Star Wars Trilogy movies on both blu ray and DVD to go with the first set of trilogy movies that I got him for father's day- now he owns all 6 on 12 discs and looks like a kid in a candy store!

I m so honored to be the bride of this amazing, Godly man. I thank God every day for him bringing Ben into my life and blessing us with a beautiful family and amazing ministry. I am so grateful that Ben is even standing here. He shouldn't be- he should have died in his addiction, but God knew what he was doing. As horrible as it was, I am so thankful that God allowed him to go through his addiction. It taught him empathy, compassion, and how to depend on and seek God in a way that is unheard of for most people. He was in such utter darkness that it allowed him to see the light of God in all of its glory. The light shines the brightest in the darkest places, and it's in the dark places that you see just what the light is capable of. He knows that he is nothing without God, because he has been nothing without God. His addiction allowed him to make mistakes in his relationships with significant others and children that he was in turn able to learn from and be sure he didn't repeat with me and Justin. His addiction enabled him to find out what matters in life, and that everything is meaningless if it's not done for the glory of God. It gave him a heart for the broken- because he was broken. He has compassion for the lost and hurting, because he knows what it feels like to be in their shoes. And- last but not least- it prepared him to deal with me and my craziness. He is a much better person coming out of addiction than he was before he went through it. Addiction can turn out to be a blessing if you hand if over to God and allow him to fill your broken places that the drugs couldn't. If you give God the same priority as the drugs, you will have a mind-blowing relationship with him and be sold out to him in a way that religion could never make you. And that's our hope for every addict we come into contact with at CROSSroads- that they will see that no matter how far gone, how hopeless, how desperate the situation- no matter the mistakes, the past, or the damage left in their wake- God holds true to his promises that he will work it all for our good (and the good of others) if we allow him to. We can be much better people on the other side of addiction before we went in. My husband is living proof of that.

Are we having fun yet???

                                                   
All in all, things ended up going off without a hitch. For a good portion of the day we were worried we were going to have to cancel because we were experiencing severe thunderstorms, but God heard our prayers for the rain to stop and granted our requests for the rain to stop (oh, the little ways that God lets you know he loves you! He cares about every little detail- even it being dry on your special day!)

A deck of cards made into a book from Justin and I. Each card has a reason why we love him, and there's 50 of them.

 To make it even better- my hubby got to listen to a two hour worship concert after his party! Who else is special enough to get a live band at their birthday party? ;) Plus, we got to bring community awareness to the cause that is near and dear to our hearts and our lives' mission- drug addiction, and the fact that there's freedom in Christ. I know that there is no other way my dear husband would rather spend his birthday. Surrounded by people he loves, preaching the gospel, and seeing the broken restored. That's who my husband is. And that's why I'm so grateful for his birth 50 years ago.


Concert after the party, and my husband and I along with other members of the recovery community being introduced to the crowd. 

Here's to 50 more!

Would Jesus use the "unfriend" button?

Social media has changed the way we all interact and develop relationships. There are definite pros and cons to the use of social media and its prevalence in society. One of the big issues that has come with social networking is the way we end relationships. Instead of working on repairing relationships, it's now as easy as pushing the "unfriend" or "block" button to rid someone from your digital life and  newsfeed. My thoughts today rest on people’s intentions and motivations for their ‘unfriend’ actions. For a tool that can be used to enhance communication and community, it can sometimes be used in negative or unhealthy ways.

I have done it myself.

There are other times when unfriending happens because of good reasons; unhealthy relationships, abusive behavior, the list can be as long as human relationships are complex. However, I see this type of unfriending to be an establishment or maintaining of healthy boundaries. I also hope that such disconnections are as full of grace and respect as possible.

I know of others, however, who will unfriend because they are angry, or petty, or are acting as some perceived punitive response. It can be used by a group of friends to "ostracize" someone from their social group because of some perceived wrong or disagreement that happened with one of the members of the "included" group. It's a way to make a statement that you are not welcomed or wanted in my life anymore. (Now- does that sound like something that Jesus would say?)

 People who will go through the process of cutting someone off of their social media accounts without trying to engage in conversation. People who perceive the act of unfriending to be a definitive statement on the whole relationship.

The Urban Dictionary actually had a great definition (among the many not-so-great definitions) for unfriending: “a coward’s way of conflict management in the world of social networking; to disassociate from someone or something without attempt to resolve conflict or give notice.”

And this is where I challenge the Christianity of unfriending.

As Christians, we are called into relationships with one another and with God. We are told in Proverbs that a friend loves at all times (17.17), that their counsel is earnest and can be trusted (18.24 and 27.6), and not to forsake our friends (27.10).  We are to serve one another in love (Gal 5.13) and encourage and stimulate one another in love and good deeds (Heb 10.24), to even lay down our lives for our friends (John 15.13).  We are called to enter into communication to resolve conflict (Mt 18.15), to chose forgiveness over wrath and anger (Eph. 4.31). Jesus’ ministry was one of building up community, of loving the world, of joining together to love and serve God.

With this basis, I feel sorry for those who unfriend out of spite or anger.  To me it speaks of a spiritual immaturity or unability (dis-ability?) to live out our Christian calling, an unwillingness to strive to be in relationship with one another. It saddens me to think that there are people hiding comfortably behind the ‘unfriend’ process; who prefer to anonymously break relationship rather than build it. It speaks to me of people who don’t realize that knee-jerk unfriending is less a statement on the unfriended person’s offense (whatever it might be) than on the unfriender’s commitment to community, especially community in Christ.

Now, before you protest about how the person you unfriended doesn't "really" know you, how you aren't connected with each other's lives outside of social media, and how they probably won't even notice (or care!) that you unfriended them, I want you to think about something.

 If someone goes out of their way to friend you on social media without really knowing you besides the fact that you go to their church- does that not tell you that they are desperately seeking community with fellow believers? That they want to be included in the "church" family that your pastor is always preaching about? Can you not see that they want to connect to you for the very fact that you are a fellow believer-that they want to fit into this "church" family- and that by unfriending them, you are telling them that you do not find them worthy of being included in your church family anymore.

Think about how devastating that statement could be to a new believer. Think about the people who don't truly feel welcomed I church, but are trying so hard to fit in. Those who have been hurt by other Christians but are giving it another shot. They reach out hoping that what the Pastor says on Sunday mornings is really true. That the church is a family, that they are welcomed there, and that they are surrounded by people who love them- even if they don't really know them. They reach out to connect with this "family"- only to be unfriended and rejected. And we wonder why so many people say that the church is full of hypocrites.

Our actions on social media have real life consequences in the real world. Studies have shown that 60% of people will avoid someone who unfriended them on Facebook in real life. Think about that. The person that you unfriended on Facebook is going to avoid you at church. Church- the place that is supposed to be a "family" for believers. Does causing division and hurt feelings in the body glorify God? Is unfriending a fellow Christian over petty reasons worth the cost of broken fellowship, awkward avoidance of each other at church and in public, hurt feelings,

and demonstrating to the world that the church really is no different than the world?

I have to give an empathetic NO.

When we “delete” people out of our networks, we end any opportunities to share God’s love and truth, and any needed future help and support, with them. When we “delete” a brother or sister in Christ, we’re violating the principles of unity, forbearance and forgiveness. I have found getting “unfriended” by fellow Christians to be far more hurtful than any other unfriending. We ought to apply the same Biblical principles to our social networking that we do to our in-person social relationships. For guess who is behind every computer screen and who Christ has called us to love as ourselves?

   Jesus didn’t “unfriend” people. He didn’t walk away from them. He walked toward them, embraced them, called them away from isolation, invited himself to their homes, and brought salvation with him. He BEFRIENDED them. Our work is not to shun them, or to shame them, or to fix them. It's not for us to label them as "unworthy" of being in our news feed. It’s to sit at their table, proclaim that gospel in their hearing, live it in their sight.

    That’s what we should be known for.

    Because that’s what our Lord was known for.

Is it ever right to unfriend someone? The answer is yes, of course; some people are abusive or inappropriate in their posts. Why should I subject myself or my friends to that? But then the question, do you just unfriend and allow that person to stumble across their banishment? Or should there still be a process that involves a conversation?

Maybe I am making too big a deal out of this; but I don’t think so. I have been unfriended several times. In the last few years I have found myself “on the out” on Facebook and didn’t know I had been removed. It causes me to pause and ask myself, what made this person feel OK about doing that? And, if we hold up Christ’s standard as important, is that OK for a follower of His to do that? Are these people who I am in some way connected to via Facebook…my neighbor?

Like it or not, unfriending (if you were a friend) is a statement. It tells the person on the other end that you consciously took the time to remove them. You do not want to see their face. You do not want to hear their voice. You are not interested in them and you do not want them to have a window into your life. If there has been a problem between you, then this is a definite step away from. A deliberate step away.

As Christ-followers, are we allowed to do that? I mean go to the extreme end of the argument where someone is your actual ENEMY (not just someone you dislike or are annoyed or offended by) and Jesus says we absolutely, without question, must LOVE them.

Think about that for a second. People who have crossed you, someone you once claimed to cherish, are you willing to actually say, “You are now my ENEMY?” Jesus says, even if they are that — your actual adversary, enemy — you must still engage with that person as modeled by Jesus Himself in Scripture. You must still love them. I don't think that unfriending someone- no matter how hard you try to justify it- can honestly be seen by anyone as an act of love. It's an act of division, an act of no longer wanting to care for or be "bothered" by the person that was unfriended.

Scripture keeps pulling us towards, towards, towards people: back to the table. So the unfriend button on Facebook, for a Christ-follower, should be a sobering thing to stare at.

So, when the thought of unfriending someone crosses your mind, ask yourself a few questions. Will doing give glory to God? Does it demonstrate his love, mercy, and forgiveness? Or does is express condemnation, judgment, disunity, and conflict? Will it bring unity to the body of Christ? Will our actions demonstrate that we are set apart from the world, or that we conform to it and act in the same matter unsaved people do? Does it edify others, or hurt them? What would Jesus do?

As for me, I have made a conscious choice to no longer "unfriend" anyone. If they want to unfriend me, that's fine. But I refuse to be the cause of hurt to a fellow believer . I myself know what it feels like to be on the "fringes" of society and the church, and not really feeling like I fit in. I know what it feels like to be made to feel like I am not "worthy" of entering the church clique that can so intensely dominate Christian social circles. I don't want to cause anyone else to feel that way- even if that's not my intention. It's not worth it to me. I don't want my actions to cause another person to stumble, or to give the world one more reason to justify why Christians are hypocrites and just like everyone else. I promise, from now on, if you're on my friends list- you are there to stay (at least from my end!) Because that's what Jesus would do.